John Carter Movie Review

Way back in the early 1900’s an author by the name of Edgar Rice Burroughs wrote a series of pulp fiction stories. It was originally serialized as Under the Moons of Mars and was later published as a novel called A Princess of Mars. Ten sequels followed over the next three decades. Disney had bought the rights to make a film version of this book series back in the 1980’s. After being abandoned many times, Andrew Stanton (director of Pixar’s Finding Nemo and WALL-E) stepped up to the plate. Finally we received the John Carter movie in 2012, on the centennial anniversary of the first publication.

John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is a world weary Civil War veteran who is tired of fighting other people’s wars and for their “noble” causes. While escaping being drafted into another battle for the military, he seeks refuge in a cave where he finds someone holding a strange medallion. When Carter touches it, he finds himself transported to a strange place where he can leap incredible heights and distances, as well as possessing amazing strength. Carter becomes reluctantly embroiled in a conflict among the inhabitants which include an alien leader Tars Tarkas (Willem Dafoe) and a human-like Princess Dejah Thoris (Lynn Collins). Carter learns from Dejah that he is on the planet earthlings call Mars and that his superhuman strength is caused by the lower gravity on Mars. Their world is on the brink of collapse and only John Carter has the power to end the conflict.

Something to take into consideration is that the setting in John Carter is based on now-obsolete ideas that were popularized by astronomer Percival Lowell in the early 20^th Century. This is why there is life on Mars and a breathable atmosphere in this sci-fi/fantasy story. It’s also based on pulp fiction, which is known for its over-the-top ridiculous action sequences and unrealistic settings. If you take all of that into consideration, John Carter is a more enjoyable movie.

Even when taking that kind of source material into consideration, the physics were a bit silly. Carter leaps 20 stories into the air because of the low gravity on Mars, but he still falls at the same speed he would on Earth. You’d expect his legs to break once he hits the ground falling that fast, but of course that doesn’t happen. Furthermore, Carter and the tribal aliens he teams up with bring swords and spears to go into battle against flying ships with laser cannons, and they still somehow manage to put up a decent fight. I’m going to use the “pulp fiction source material” excuse for that, too. It’s just visually a bit hard to swallow.

I’ve now seen Taylor Kitsch take on three different characters; Gambit in X-MenOrigins: Wolverine, Lieutenant Alex Hopper in Battleship, and John Carter. Yes, they are all action movies, but he really does an impressive job portraying different personalities. He’s far from a favorite of mine; I haven’t always liked the roles he’s played (such as Gambit), but he is a pretty good actor and did a fine job as John Carter.

John Carter didn’t seem to know if it was for kids or adults. On the one hand it has plenty of humorous scenes. I liked the part where he’s trying to adjust to Mars’ gravity. But on the other hand, it’s also kind of violent; decapitation and heavy-duty sword play aren’t uncommon here. I suppose that since the alien’s blood is blue, Disney assumed it wouldn’t be off-putting for younger viewers. Really, it’s not too bad, but I don’t think I’d want anyone under the age of 8 to watch it.

John Carter is a fun movie. The editing is a bit choppy and the pacing is kind of slow. It’s exciting, funny, and its visual effects are not bad. It is pure, joyous, escapist adventure cinema. You really have to take it for what it is; a fun action movie that requires very little thought. Edgar Rice Burroughs is best known for writing the Tarzan stories, but you can see how this sort of material (circa 1912’s) influenced a lot of science fiction, fantasy, and superhero adventures. If you like those kinds of stories, you’ll probably enjoy John Carter on at least some level. You just have to take some of it with a grain of salt. I enjoyed it, but not enough to want my own copy to watch over and over again. I recommend seeing it, even if it is another attempt for Disney to strike gold like they did with Pirates of the Caribbean. It’s worth the cost of a RedBox rental, but not the cost of the Blu-Ray.

Do you have a favorite Sci-Fi/Fantasy movie? Like, where you're not sure if it's one or the other? What is it? Comment below and let me know!

Battleship Movie Review

Hasbro has made a few movies based on their toy products. Some of these include Clue (1985), G.I. Joe: the Rise of Cobra (2009), and the Transformers movies. Film adaptations of other Hasbro games would be hilarious: Jenga? Hungry Hungry Hippos? Connect 4? Most of us rolled our eyes in exasperation when we first heard news about a movie based on the famous board game, but Peter Berg's Battleship (2012) wasn't half bad.

After irresponsible beach bum Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is arrested for a reckless stunt, his older brother, Stone Hopper (Alexander Skarsgard), demands that Alex make something of himself and insists that he join him in the Navy. Alex's stunt was supposed to impress Samantha Shane (Brooklyn Decker), but since she is the daughter of Stone's Navel commanding officer, Admiral Shane (Liam Neeson), it reflected poorly on Stone. Meanwhile, a transmission is being sent into deep space to see if there is intelligent life on a nearby Earth-like plant. In as much time as it takes to get Alex into a uniform and on a U.S. Destroyer, five alien crafts enter our solar system in tight formation. The U.S. destroyers exchange fire with the alien crafts which prove to be formidable opponents. Two Naval ships are destroyed, one of which was commended by Stone. After several officers on Alex's ship die, he is left as the highest ranking officer, and must take command. As this is happening, Samantha is revealed to be a physical therapist working with Army vet Mick Canales (real life Iraq hero, Colonel Gregory D. Gadson). They meet Cal Zapata (Hamish Linklater) who has escaped from the communications relay which was taken over by the aliens. The aliens are trying to use the satellite relay to call for reinforcements.

Battleship is loosely based on the board game of the same name. If you keep a sharp eye out for them, you can find subtle references to the game.  The officers find a way to track the alien ships' underwater movements using weather buoys. The resulting display grid resembles the Battleship game board. The Aliens make a gigantic force field around their splashdown area, trapping some of the Navy ships inside. So it's a few Navy ships versus the alien ships; a finite combat area with no external interference, just like the board game. Also, the aliens launch large explosive canisters at the Navy ships which get lodged in the hull for a few seconds then explode. These canisters are shaped like the pegs used in the board game to mark hits. These are subtle references; the movie isn't trying to sell us a Battleship board game.

The characters in Battleship aren't very complex or deep. Yet they are still more interesting than the characters we saw in Transformers. Alex resembles a lot of swashbuckler-type characters from recent movies; fearless, energetic, foolhardy, disobedient, and unpredictable, yet they excel despite their impertinence. He's like Captain Kirk on Star Trek (2009) or just about any character that Sam Worthington has played. Rihanna portrays Petty Officer Cora 'Weps' Raikes and was pretty good for what she was; a butt-kicking female protagonist who also exhibits creativity and resourcefulness. This was this R&B/pop star's first acting role; she did very well. Colonel Gadson, an American bilateral above-the-knee amputee, did a fantastic job in this role. In Battleship he plays a war veteran who lost his legs and feels it makes him less of a man; unable to perform even some of the most mundane tasks. He's a great character with a powerful presence. He grows, regaining self-respect, and again accepts the call of duty.

Holding true to B-movie formats; we send out an invitation to possible alien life forms to make contact with us, the call is answered, and without bothering to communicate, the military fires on the aliens. At several points in Battleship we're given reason to think the aliens may not be here to invade or destroy; they primarily attack our weapon structures (military vessels, weapon depots, etc.), and even then it's only after being fired upon. This could have made an interesting plot device, but the movie didn't do anything with it. There isn't a specific villain; just a faceless army that shows us only a few troops. Because the aliens have no lines and don't necessarily seem have malicious intentions, it weakens the conflict.

Battleship isn't simply a nonstop barrage of special effects and explosions. The story and characters are a bit more intricate than Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, though that's not saying much; it's still overall a weak movie. Battleship honors war veterans throughout the movie, especially in Canales' character. Veterans are shown to be real heroes before, and are fully capable of being heroes again if called upon. It's a perfect Memorial Day movie. Battleship wasn't great, but it was a fun time for what it was if you can ignore the writing tropes and silliness. I could see it becoming a cult classic one day. It's still cheesy, but not as much as we expected it to be, we can still laugh at it and enjoy it, and it's based on a board game for crying out loud! It might be worth seeing once; catching it on DVD would be fine, but a matinee ticket will show you some pretty great explosions on the big screen. I don't think it's worth owning a copy, though.

Did you see Battleship? Did you like it? Did you hate it? What do you think of movies based on board games? Comment below and let me know!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine Movie Review

In general, sequels usually are not as good as the original movie, but they aren’t always bad. Prequels, however, are consistently horrendous; often tarnishing the original movie and characters. X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) is no different.

In 1845 Canada, young James Howlett (Hugh Jackman) sees his father killed by groundskeeper Thomas Logan. The trauma activates the boy's mutation: bone claws protrude from James' hands, and he kills Thomas, who reveals with his dying breath to be James' real father. James flees into the forest along with Thomas's son Victor Creed (Liev Schrieber), who is thus James' brother. They spend the next century as soldiers in the American Civil War, both World Wars, and the Vietnam War. Major William Stryker (Danny Huston) offers the two of them a position in Team X, a group of mutant special operatives. But James leaves because of the questionable actions and disregard for life. Years later, James now goes by Logan and lives in Canada as with his girlfriend, Kayla Silverfox (Lynn Collins). Colonel Stryker appears to warn Logan that someone is killing members of Team X. Shortly after, Victor murders Kayla and attacks Logan. Stryker offers Logan a way to beat Victor; an experimental procedure that would reinforce his skeleton with adamantium, a virtually indestructible metal. Logan asks for new dog tags that read “Wolverine” after a story Kayla had told him. After the procedure, Logan overhears Stryker ordering Logan’s memory to be erased. Logan violently fights his way out, and learns about Stryker’s elaborate plot to combine the powers of several mutants into one: Weapon XI, the Mutant Killer.

The story in X-Men Origins: Wolverine really seems haphazardly thrown together in an attempt to maintain interest in X-Men film series. The story was rushed; they threw in lots of well known comic book characters but didn’t give them enough screen time to allow any of them to develop into the interesting characters that they are. I was most upset about Remy “Gambit” LaBeau (Taylor Kitsch). Gambit was always a favorite of mine; like most of the other characters, he shows up for a little bit delivers a few lines and shows off some mutant powers and that’s it. One of Gambit’s more endearing traits is his thick Cajun accent, which is scarcely detectable in this movie. It just so happens that Gambit owns and knows how to fly an airplane to transport Wolverine to Stryker’s hide out; that never occurred in the comic books. It’s almost like after the story was written, they then stuck iconic Marvel characters in wherever it was convenient, regardless of how illogical it would be for the previously established characters. It’s just poor writing.

It was neat to learn about where Wolverine came from, but it removes the intriguing mystery behind the character. Wolverine is one of the more popular X-Men characters, and there really is no one that could play him like Hugh Jackman, who is perfect for the role! Wolverine’s ability to heal from anything makes him the perfect action hero, and the action in this movie is over the top and fun. Having an invulnerable character as the main protagonist brings to mind tank-like action heroes of the early 1980’s; fun but uninteresting. I’d hate to think this movie has essentially thrown Wolverine away, but there’s not much left that can be done with him. It would have been much better to have Wolverine go on a quest to find out all the details of his past (since in the original movies he has amnesia), and see how these revelations change him as a character and how he grows from it. Starting over from the very beginning and encountering token cameos from other popular characters doesn’t do the franchise or characters any favors.

If you’re an X-Men fan, I do not recommend watching X-Men Origins: Wolverine. It’s a weak attempt to keep the franchise alive and will leave you upset with what they did to your favorite characters. The only reason to watch it is to see Hugh Jackman be Wolverine some more. If you aren’t a fan, it will just leave you confused and annoyed. Just stick with the first two X-Men movies.